Melvin Dixon was born in Stamford, Connecticut, in May of 1950. In his early twenties, Dixon earned his bachelor's degree from Wesleyan University and a PhD from Brown University. In 1980, he became a professor of literature at Queens College and a successful author. His writing reflects on his experiences and understanding of being a Black and gay man in America. He died of AIDS in 1992 after battling the disease for three years. For more information on Dixon, visit poets.org and check out his award-winning publications titled Trouble in the Water and Vanishing Rooms.
“Heartbeats” by Melvin Dixon: A Review
This poem depicts Dixon’s own slow death caused by AIDS. The poem is a mass of short, two-line stanzas that mimic Dixon’s dying heartbeat. The beginning of the poem highlights Dixon’s attempt to avoid the deadly AIDS disease. He describes working out, eating healthy, and practicing safe sex. This description addresses the common notion held by the American public that gay men deserved to die of AIDS because they “asked for it.” Dixon addresses the victim-blaming narrative head-on and shows that though he did everything right, the disease still found its way into his blood.
What I find most striking about this poem is the repetition of the phrase “chin up.” This repetition occurs three times, and each time Dixon presents it in a new context that changes its meaning. At first, it was referred to as an exercise, doing chin-ups in a workout routine. Then, him stretching his posture to get more air into his lungs as he loses his ability to breathe. Lastly, it depicts a final grasp at dignity, to keep his chin up to avoid falling into despair and giving in to the disease that is eating his body from the inside out.
This poem documents Dixon's final moments, and it was published three years after his death by his estate. This poem is heartbreaking and raw. "Heartbeats" is a unique poem as the form adds to the emotions of the poem by making the reader feel the last heartbeats of Dixon’s life.
The AIDS epidemic killed 324,029 men and women in the USA between 1987 and 1998 (Rosenfeld). This massive loss of American lives was met with both silence and hatred toward the people who became infected with the disease. This reaction was in large part because of the sexuality of a majority of infected individuals. The American public turned away from people like Melvin Dixon because of who he loved. The effects of the ongoing AIDS epidemic are still in motion. Medical experts are making strides toward a cure, but social hatred and homophobia still persist in the minds and public systems of the United States (Rosenfeld; Stein and Stone).
To read Melvin Dixon’s full poem “Heartbeats,” visit poets.org using the link below: https://poets.org/poem/heartbeats
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